We’ve had the hunt followers you’re likely to meet in the field , here is the equine equivalent…
1 The Ex Racehorse
Two weeks after his third and final race, Squidge has come via the sales to the capable hands of a tiny collector of failed racehorses. Covered in white foam if prevented from being at the front, he achieved notoriety at opening meet for overtaking a field of 120 horses to finish a nose in front of the swearing Field Master.
And so on the last day of September (a month later than promised) here is the very first hunting write up of the 2017/18 season. To those who read before, welcome back, for anyone new thanks for clicking. Will follow usual policy of not naming anyone by their given names (already had one “request” this season for the code name of “DevilDick” which has been granted), not naming any meets etc because nobody wants a visit from our friends in balaclavas, or the sort of Facebook message I received after being interviewed by VICE this summer, which stated that my name had been passed to the police (bet they LOVED that).
If you want one of those lists that explains the very basics of hunting, or a discussion post full of people who seriously think unplaited horses should take a one- way trip to kennels at the end of the day then look elsewhere. I haven’t worn a hairnet since mine was memorably ripped from my scalp at the beginning of the 2015/16 season, and I am currently writing a newcomers’ guide for a country lifestyle magazine that advises new recruits to test out new underwear before combining them with a freshly epilated Hollywood. So yes, this is just a general list of crimes not to be committed, based on my experience (yup I have been guilty of some of them) and the great help of my friend V, who hunts in Devon in full waterproofs and shouted “FUCKING HELL IT’S LIKE MR DARCY” when she came down to Bluey’s VWH debut and saw the local field.